Karte.XXX

I am 22 dee! it's like ..oh my god!!!

Yup! A year older .. Does it makes any difference? I don't really know myself .. THanks for all the messages and calls !!! Thank you so much pattayaz hahahaa .. miss ya all so much! Everything was abit different .. but i know i wasn't alone .. Thanks!

Oo0o yeah i ain't a good singer eventually hahaha .. but i enjoyed myself so much! THanks!

Karte.XXIX

She sings so sweet, sending tunes and melody that cools the soul, thank you so much to her without her, my life would be meaningless. How could I live without you :) million thanks to my 'always-be-there-for-me-computer' that plays Mr Jacky Cheung's music. Both of you are my life savers! Got some rest finally.

Due to last nite's lesson I woke up today and wanted so much to listen to this song hope you guys and girls out there can enjoy it as much as I do ...

p.s : I am not troubled just sometimes when solitude comes knocking on your door, it shakes the soul within ..

What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
I'm going crazy now

No more gas in the rig
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
All my life on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort

Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum

Faded pictures on the wall
It's like they talkin' to me
Disconnectin' your call
Your phone don't even ring
I gotta get out
Or figure this shit out
It's too close for comfort

It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
I feel like a monster

Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum Disturbia

Release me from this curse
I've been trying to maintain
But I'm struggling
You can't go, go, go
I think I'm going to oh, oh, oh

Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must faulter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia

Disturbia ! Wooo hooo !

Karte.XXVIII

INSONMIA!! DISTURBIA!!!

Mom has been nagging me bout why am I always sleeping late and all those kind of things, so being a good boy i planned to sleep early tonight, I was really tired after running around the whole day, physically I am totally exhausted but I really don't know why does my mind kept on spinning and thinking and thinking and thinking till I am so active I can't sleep. Gosh!Am I disturbed? I don't know Help is there a remedy to sleep?

I got up suddenly, hoping to look at the time should be around 4 or 5 am but it's not! It's only like about 145 almost to 2 .. gosh .. Time does not speed up when i need it to speed it's like crawling only! Just hope to get some sleep I don't mind where I sleep now as long as I can get one ... =.='

Karte.XXVII

This song .. once i heard and saw the lyrics .. it keeps lingering in my mind .. can't get it out .. maybe it expresses what i feel ..

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty
We're empty

Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love a myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe!

Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why when you're young you fall in love

And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love [2x]

Empty by The Click Five

Karte.XXVI

Of Laughter and Tears , Of Love and Hatred.

Just a fine line that separates 2 weirdest phenomenon that happens in our lives.

Based on what i wrote on top, come to think of it. It's rather true. When we're sad we cry am I right? But when we're happy we will say that we're so happy till tears fall .. so ain't that contradicting? Another reason to ponder is when you love a person, you'll hate that person as well because of all the things that you have done for him/her at the end of the day it doesn't turn out the way it should be at least it doesn't turn out the way we wanted it to be. Sometimes we just wanted to be cherished, cared and loved. But what is the definition of being cherished? Cared? and of all Loved?

As i said it's really a weird phenomenon. People laugh when their happy, but some even laugh when their sad. Like I said a fine line that separates between laughter and tears. To me, it's good to cry and shed tears at times. It proves that we still have a soul in us. We cry because our souls are tormented, we cry because emotions rule before us, we cry because we are human and not God. But crying is enough to relieve us, not doing anything stupid to harm ourselves physically. So to the first phenomenon, cry when you want to cry, express yourselves thoroughly because that's what we are as human beings. Without expressions or emotions we're just mere robots. The same concept applies to laughter. Laugh when you want to laugh. Laugh and smile always for we don't know when a person might fall into your laughter and want you to laugh always.

As for the second phenomenon, if I could define love then I think I can be a wealthy, but nope. I can't define love for its too well undefined. Based on physics, it's force and magnitude is infinite, based on chemistry its catalyst and reactions are infinite, based on computer logics, there's no logics we can't program love. based on mathematics and calculations, we can't measure love nor is there any SI unit for love .. so at the end of day it's just infinity. But like what i said earlier, there's only a fine line that separates love and hatred. Often after being so deeply in love it turns to hatred for one side or another felt betrayed eg, law of conservation of energy states that the total amount of energy in any isolated system remains constant but cannot be recreated, although it may change forms, e.g. friction turns kinetic energy into thermal energy. In thermodynamics. But ain't love supposed to be a good thing? how can it turn ugly? Maybe it's like LOTR where the elves such beautiful beings thru hatred will turn to ugly and hideous goblins. I think we should not ever have those kind of thoughts in our lives. Hatred is such a negative energy, if put to a certain amount it can be disastrous and hatred evolves a person. Therefore if there was once love , let i be love.Don't ever turn or evolved it to hatred. Love can be lowered or increased.. as i said it can't be measured but can be lowered to and infinite amount as it can also be increased to an infinite amount, but don't turn it into hatred.

Love turning into hatred is never like the law of conservation of energy because love is ruled based on emotions, In the world of emotions there's no specific law that states any theories by anyone. The only person that states the rules are us, ourselves. So be wise it controlling your emotions at times use logics to comprehend with emotions. If emotions rule too much, it's not a good sign because it always tend to loose control.

Karte.XXV

This phrase i got it from my friend's blog. Thanks Man! hehehe

“Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

It's stated there out of faith , hope and love, love is the greatest of them all. I think it's perfectly true, it's based on love, people give in to their guilt and be honest, it's through love that makes people cry , it's through love that makes people be patient and wait if i were to state i think the list will go on forever. The love that I am saying covers everything, friends, family, lovers and everything.

But many people misunderstood that love should always be blissful, where when a person meets love, it sweeps them off their feet and so on. To me love was never blissful or it can swept you off your feet, it's just based on movies. The actual fact is love comes with sacrifices especially unconditional. Love is never a business don't expect that when you have given out love you must have it in return because it will never will. It's either you stick to this concept or don't love. Love is hardship, where patience comes into play all the time, it takes time to really understand love or some might not understand at all. Love is not like fireworks because fireworks sparkles in the sky for a few minutes only, love is an everlasting emotion that always linger in our hearts. No one can replicate love or no one can define love. That makes love the greatest of them all for it comes with hardship, sacrifices, patience. The highest value where one human being can achieve.

For guys, if you really love your partner, set aside your ego, ego is nothing when you face your loved one. Give them tender and care as much as you can.

For girls, it's not guys want to lie to you always, sometimes they do that for you not to worry, beside if you truly love your partner, set aside your insecurities when you're with him.

Insecurities and egoism is the most common barrier that separates a couple.

Lastly, the highest value a person can achieve through love is setting one free. Love as I said is a sacrifice, loving someone does not mean you need him/her to be always there for you that's why it unconditional. Agony and pain will always be there if you brush aside both of them, there's always chances. What's meant to be yours will always be yours, what's not no matter how hard we try and force ourselves, it will never be. Don't loose confidence in yourself because of that.

Karte.XXIV

You've been a reason and a season to me. There's no guarantees that you'll be lifetime but I am glad and happy that out of that 3 stages, you've fulfilled my life with 2. Most of all, out of the 4 seasons we've been through all just that maybe we aren't able to been through more.
Thank You.